"John is sissy. Wussy John."

Something my lovely counterpart Zoloo said about me today. But to be fair, I asked for it. Two nights ago I was making dinner and inadvertently stabbed myself right smack dab in the middle of my hand, stigmata style. I was showing the other teachers my wound and telling them about how it had been a challenge to bandage it before I passed out, so woozy do I get in such situations. They seemed a bit shocked and asked me what someone like me was called in English. "A wussy," I said. "Or a sissy, though some people think that's sexist." It caught on.

Halloween draws near, and it's a slightly bigger deal around here than I would've expected. Except for Christmas (which everyone kinda thinks is a synonym for New Year's), it's the only American holiday Mongolians really know anything about, even if there's a lot of confusion as to what actually takes place. We were supposed to have a little Halloween party this afternoon at school, complete with a costume contest, bobbing for apples, and Halloween bingo, but it was decided last minute to postpone it until Tuesday. That sort of thing happens a lot around here. I'm just glad I didn't wear my cowboy outfit to work!

The biggest thing on my mind recently is that, as of a week or so ago, I've been here longer than I spent in Cairo, which was my last major experience abroad. That's pretty amazing, especially considering what a tiny fraction of my Peace Corps service I've completed. What is slightly more impressive to me is the fact that I've now been in Mongolia longer than I've ever been in one country without leaving before. By a long shot. I was in Egypt less than two months before I went to Europe for Easter vacation, and my remaining two-and-a-half months there were split pretty neatly in half by a trip around the Middle East. As for my time in Holland, we were fortunate enough to hit up a new country every couple months or so. It'll be five months in Mongolia on November 5, a week from tomorrow. Craziness.

To celebrate this milestone, here's a pic from my time in Egypt. Keep your eyes peeled in early April, which is when I'll break my record for longest time out of America, surpassing the ten months I lived in Holland.

Stripsearched! Cleansed with vodka!

Hey pals. So I went to UB last week for the VAC conference, which was pretty cool I guess. It definitely was a lot like a student council meeting, which had me hearkening back to my high school days. There were some interesting issues on the docket however, chief amongst which were why Peace Corps can't give lady volunteers extra money to pay for feminine hygiene products (equal rights?), details of taking days off during the school year if you're TEFL (no more than five), and potentially changing from a 27-month Peace Corps country to a 25-month one, though this too was TEFL specific. It looks quite likely, that last one. You see, since school ends in late May, many TEFLs have to make up bogus projects to hang around Mongolia for their last summer until they COS in late August. So we're probably gonna change that. Which means there's a good chance I'll finish up in late June 2012 instead of late August. Cool?

The most interesting part of the trip, however, came during the mind-numbingly long ride out. About an hour or so in, the bus came to this enormous tent with a bunch of medical vehicles parked next to it. We were unloaded, divided by gender, and shuffled into tents where we were handed a coat hanger each. A little confused, I watched as all the Mongolian men started taking off their clothes. I tried not to let my shock get the best of me and quickly began removing mine as well. We didn't have to strip naked (nor were we searched... it just made for a flashy title), but most of our clothes were taken away from us and, well, I don't know what they did to them. Sprayed them for foot and mouth disease I presume, though they smelled the same when I got them back. While we waited, a woman came in and gave us cotton swabs with which to wash our hands. Said swabs reeked of vodka. Too perfect. Finally, she came in with a spray bottle and sprayed some mediciny fluid into our mouths which we were then instructed to spit into a cardboard box in the middle of the room. All the while, the Mongolian guys are talking a lot about the gadaad khun ("foreign person") and laughing themselves silly, perhaps partially because I was just about the only guy who'd neglected to wear long underwear, so while they were all sitting there mostly covered up, I had my hairy, pasty whites exposed to the cold, breezy tent, as well as to all of them. Amazing.

Because of the delays associated with the quarantine, it was looking like I wasn't going to make it into UB until nearly midnight, so I decided to hop off the bus at Bayandelger and surprise my host family for the night. They were so pleased. They lit a big fire in my old ger, made me some meat soup, and put me to bed. The next day my mom and I walked around the town and saw all the people from the summer. It was great to be back, though nearly impossible to believe that only eight weeks had passed. It was especially strange to be there without all my American buds, most of all Kaede. Everyone asked me about her and smiled to hear that we are still together.

Friday in UB happened to be consolidation, which is when Peace Corps tests its emergency evacuation policies. As a result all the people from the towns surrounding the capital had to come in for the weekend, which was really nice, as I got to see even more friendly faces than I'd anticipated. We had a jolly good time, as the pic above demonstrates.

"Mongolia is a very poor country and is relatively far away from everything."

That quotation comes from a newspaper article that was brought to my attention by fellow M21s Ryan McGibony and his lovely wife Katie Leitch. The article is pretty amusing on its own, but that line is just priceless.

Oh, and here's a pic of Aagii with one of our very silly seventh grade classes.


So it's been slightly longer than average since last I posted, and if anyone besides me noticed that, you probably didn't care. Which is a good thing. I suppose the main reason for that is that not much of interest has happened recently. The biggest deal was, last weekend, I had my first CouchSurfers here in Mongolia! It was pretty awesome. Their names are Valérie and Stéphane, and they're a really interesting and lovely couple from France who are in the midst of a one-year trip around Asia. They drove from southern France to Finland, left their van there, hopped the train out here, will head down through China and southeast Asia, come back through China, hit up all those 'Stans, and then return to their van and, eventually, la France. When I wasn't fuming with jealousy, I got the opportunity to bone up on my French, which was awesome, though it was simultaneously frustrating, amazing, and hilarious how impossible it was to sift out the Mongolian words. I had a whole conversation with them about Mongolian houses without realizing I was using the Mongolian word for house instead of the French one. No wonder they seemed so confused.

Having them here gave me a good excuse to see a lot of the city which I hadn't had the motivation to on my own just yet. We walked down to some crazy cool old Soviet monuments (see below), chilled by the river, and even saw a little theater. Unfortunately, the theater was freezing cold and filled with loud, whistling, inattentive children, rendering an already unintelligible play all but enraging. Another bummer was that I got somewhat sick during their stay. However, they were totally wonderful and it was actually quite nice to have them here taking care of me. They even cooked me delicious French meals that were easy on my stomach. They left on Wednesday, but I hope to see them again, perhaps at their pad next time. I'm gonna have to hear the stories that come out of this trip of theirs. Hopefully I'll have a few more of my own to share as well.

Well, as I said, not too much to share. I'm headed to UB on Wednesday for a seminar. It'll be nice to go back to the big city, eat a burger, see some fresh faces. And it'll probably spice up the blog a bit too!